Christopher Gardner: Hey. Don’t ever let somebody tell you… You can’t do something. Not even me. All right?

Christopher: All right.

Christopher Gardner: You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.

I was watching the movie, “The Pursuit of Happyness,” yesterday, and one scene really stuck with me.

Christopher Gardner (Will Smith) and his son (Jaden Christopher Syre Smith) have a father son sort of moment in the basketball courts. The father has a feeling of regret, reflects on his life, and gives advice so that his son doesn’t have to feel or go through the same problems. This information, in my opinion, is the best that you can ever give your child.

All throughout our lives we are told more often what we shouldn’t do, and not what we should or can do. However, there is a logical reason why this is the case. When we are children, our parents want to give us the best life possible. Some think that if they play it safe by never taking chances or risks, they will teach us to be safe by example. The basic reason that our parents do this is because they have learned what to do and what not to do in life- what works and what doesn’t. The major problem with this reasoning is that the perception of, “safe,” and, “danger,” or, “not safe,” is entirely up to the individual.

One person might think that poverty is something to fear, and will not take risks in life because of this. On the other hand, a person who has experienced poverty first hand has nothing to lose and will take a risk as though it is not a risk. For this man a risk is only an area of opportunity or a challenge. For the previous man, a risk is something to fear because he does not completely understand what it is to lose something. Without knowing what it feels like to lose something, to try something and fail, you can imagine the fear you would have to overcome.

To change, you have to redefine what, “safe,” actually is. One day you open your eyes and see the world for what it really is. Is there actually anything to fear in your life? Do you work the same job you are unhappy with for 20 years because it is safe? Or do you work towards a better life, take a few risks, and find true happiness? I’m not saying that you can’t be happy with a job and work it for as long as you would like, but I am only pointing out a common example that I see everyday.

The bottom line is exactly what this quote points out…

“You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.”

If you have a passion for something, then fulfill your dream. If someone tells you that you can’t do it, then that is their problem. Forget what they tell you, make your own mistakes, create success from what you learn, and fulfill your own dreams.

Today I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed and was scared to death all week in anticipation. Not anticipation of the actual procedure, but the fact that I would have an IV in my arm as a means of anesthesia. I must admit that I have always had a fear of needles and was never really able to explain to myself on a logical level why.

This past week or so has opened my eyes to the way I was creating this fear. I had lost all my reasoning for why I feared having a needle stuck in my arm, and instead had relied on fearing needles just to fear them. I cannot truthfully say if I had a traumatic experience in the past, but what I do know is that discovering such no longer matters. All that matters to me is that I was able to overcome my fear and receive an IV in my arm today. This may not seem like a great feat for some people, but for me it was a test of my ability to overcome what I feared most.

A fear is something that all of us possess. We all often think about a fear as something that we should avoid because it poses a real danger to our well being. Yet, many of us never really take time to decipher our fears and in turn never overcome them. I believe that understanding and facing your fear is the only way to tackling it and setting a precedent in your mind that you have done so.

Do you fear any type of needles like I did? Do you fear losing something? Do you fear losing money? Whatever you fear, you can overcome it and grow from the experience. It sounds so simple, and it really is. I’m not going to tell you that the process is either easy nor difficult, because that places some type of restraint or prejudgment on what you are about to do.

All I want you do to do is ask yourself these questions:

• Taken to its extreme, what would this fear do to me?

Would I die from this fear? Of course not, you can’t die from a fear alone, but you can die from a danger- there is a very big difference.

• When did I start fearing this?

As with my case, I have forgotten completely about why I feared needles and had in a sense, “hard wired,” a response into my brain. If you actually do know when or where the fear began, then it is time to ask yourself another question…

• Does what happened to me even apply to my current situation anymore?

You are older, more knowledgeable, and generally experienced that ever before- shouldn’t you have the ability to prevent such from happening again?

After going through a mental process about your fears, you will discover that your fear is more than likely a result of, “hard wiring,” or programming your brain to respond in a specific way to a specific event. The problem you will see with this, is that you are no longer conscious of your decisions when you do this. For example, if a dog bit you when you were a child, and you have feared all dogs ever since for fear of being bit, you are only limiting yourself. You will never again experience the companionship of a dog all because you had one traumatic experience with one animal.

I’d like to leave you with with a thought…

Is there any time when it is reasonable or beneficial to fear something? Or should we learn to become fully conscious of everything that happens to us?